“Max’s mother called him ‘Wild Thing’ and sent him to bed without supper…” Discipline and Consequences in Children’s Ministry

This post is part of a series on behavior management in Children’s Ministry called “Where the Wild Things Are.” You can read other posts here and here and here.

So what do you do when the wild things misbehave?  First, there have to be real consequences.  If not, kids will run all over you.  Second, we have to keep in mind that our environment must be one that resonates with the love of Christ.  We must never, never shame or embarrass or belittle a child.  But, God does allow us to suffer the consequences of our sin and in our discipling process of our “wild things”, we too must teach that wrong choices bring bad consequences.

Before consequences though, the kids must know what our expectations are.  We keep our expectations very general. They are based off of Matthew 22:37-39.  They are:

1.  Show love for God.  2.  Show love for others.  3.  Show love for self.

Anything a kid can do wrong falls under one of these categories.  We use this language as we correct behavior and as we encourage positive behavior.

This is our sequence for consequences:

1.  Verbal warning.  (“Fred, you are not showing love for others by pulling Sally’s hair.  If you keep doing that, you will have to sit out of the game.”)

2.  Removal from activity.  (“Fred, you are still not showing love for Sally. You are going to have to sit here by me while your friends finish the game.”)

3.  Removal from room.  (“Fred, because you aren’t showing love for others, you are going to have to come out of the class for a little bit.”  Fred would either sit with his leader or with a director or staff member, talk about his behavior, then return to the class after apologizing)

4.  Staff member finds Mom and Dad. (Issues rarely get this far, but if a child absolutely can not control themselves or are endangering others, we must partner with Mom and Dad by letting them know asap.)

What behavior expectations and consequences do you have in your ministry?

Tags: behavior, discipline, Where the Wild Things Are